Breaking My Heart Read online

  “I’m the luckiest man on the planet!” he shouts. He leans in for a kiss; it is slow, smooth and full of love. We then make love under the stars and even though I can’t see anyone around, I wouldn’t care if we were being watched as I am so caught up in this magical moment.

  I drop him off at his place smiling a cheesy grin and we kiss and caress. I tell him, “I love you Kade. Thanks for the beach sex baby,” I add laughing.

  He tells me, “I love you Roxy.” One last kiss and I’m driving back to my place.

  As I’m driving home I think of him when I hear ‘L.O.V.E’ on the radio. I turn it up loud and hear Deni Hines singing all about four letters meaning so much, can they?

  But they do mean everything! I grab my phone and like a lost puppy I text Kade.

  Thank you for telling me you love me, I feel so much for you and I am over the moon you said it first. I love love love you Kade!

  Within seconds my phone beeps.

  I needed to tell you and I loved saying it. My heart is so full with you in my life, I love you Roxy Thorne. Always.

  So this is what happy feels like, boy it’s been a while and it feels fucking sensational.

  Chapter 8

  All Work and No Play

  We have been sleeping most nights at my place. Kade’s mum is very strict about me sleeping in another room when I am over. In this day and age is she kidding about making me sleep in another room? Doesn’t she realise we can still fool around before bed time? What she doesn’t know definitely won’t hurt her that’s for sure. They have the cutest little pug dogs named Otis and Pug who both greet me and lick me every time I go there. Secretly I think it makes Kade jealous how much affection they show me.

  Kade is a dedicated surfer; he is gone before I wake in the mornings. Apparently that’s when the good waves are around, then he trains again after work and before I see him at night.

  I have noticed some big changes lately; I haven’t touched drugs for four weeks. I feel less tired, healthier, and happier. Drugs are definitely addictive and give you a false sense of security and confidence.

  I used to love the energy and stamina, but have realised by taking vitamins and looking after myself I can feel that way daily and not just from a binge. I definitely don’t miss the after effects from the drugs. I was addicted to the buzz, the fun. But thanks to Kade being my knight in shining armour he has saved me from the depression, loneliness and despair that the drugs were creating.

  Today is Friday and I’ve been at uni all day. I finish early so I go to surprise Kade at work.

  He stands out amongst all the workers, he really is a stunner.

  How has he not been eaten up by other women already is a mystery to me. His blonde spiky hair and broad, robust shoulders and those muscular legs look hot with work boots. Maybe he was just saving himself for someone special and I’m the lucky lady, that’s for sure.

  He is hammering a nail into some timber and as I approach he turns around, and wow the smile I get just melts my heart. “Hey, you’re a nice surprise,” he says.

  “I thought I’d visit you as I’m early for once,” I tell him. He wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me.

  “You have made my day Roxy,” he whispers. I smile, a genuine happy smile actually feeling like a giddy school girl. He kisses me again as we hear wolf whistles and cheers. I pull away laughing and see about six other guys staring. “Don’t mind those Neanderthals,” he tells me. I look into his eyes. Then down his body, all hot and sweaty, his tool belt nice and tight around his arse and the hard hat he is wearing. The combination is setting me on fire.

  “You are so hot in these clothes, do you know that?” I tease.

  “So you like me in my hard hat and work belt baby?” Kade asks in a sexy voice.

  I purr back to him, “I’d much prefer you naked and on top of me gorgeous.”

  Kade grabs my hand and drags me around the vacant side of the building.

  The lust in his eyes is burning into me, he moves quickly into me grabbing my arse and lifting my leg, I can feel his hard dick and I moan.

  I kiss him and we get all hot and heavy. Not caring if someone is watching I grab his arse and squeeze, he moans and I moan back while flicking his tongue with mine. “I wish we were somewhere else right now,” he tells me through our kiss. I can feel the heat radiating from him and his dominating voice. I am so wet for him.

  I answer, “Me too.”

  “Fuck you make me hot Roxy,” he tells me. “I've never been so turned on in my entire existence, Your curvaceous body, lips made for kissing and skin so soft and untouched. To me you are a goddess like Helen of Troy and I’m staking my claim” he adds and I am floating from his wonderful words.

  “So how long till I get you all to myself and can climb on top of you baby?” I ask cheekily knowing he is super turned on.

  “Give me thirty minutes to finish up, be at home naked,” he says. Then he adds, “I am so greedy when it comes to you, so get used to sex morning, noon and night from here till eternity princess.” Then he kisses me till I’m flushed and I am floating again walking back to my car.

  I have every intention of going home and being naked for

  him when he gets there.

  We are all hot and sweaty after our afternoon romp. “I still need to go for my surf Rox, if I miss any training the coach will kick my butt,” he tells me.

  “Can I come and watch?” I ask him.

  “Yep I’d love you to come,” he answers.

  We take Kade’s Ute and pull up to the beach and park. Kade grabs his white board out of the back. “Sit on my towel on the sand baby; it should be about forty-five minutes total for jogging, surfing and warm down.” He kisses me quickly then jogs off over to three other guys. They all look to me and shake his hand, giving him high fives. That makes me smile and feel all fuzzy inside.

  I watch Kade throughout his work out. The way he jogs, his fitness levels seem very high, he doesn’t seem overly exerted and he ran for a good twenty minutes. He waves to me and I blow him a kiss. He grabs his board and runs towards the water, no fear just excitement for him to surf his heart out. He paddles out where I can just barely see him, and then he straddles his board. I wish I was his board at this moment.

  I hear his coach yell out, “Kade I want you to try a tube.” I see him nod then face the waves, waiting for a decent size. I see two that he lets go, on the third wave he lays on his stomach as he paddles faster than I knew possible. Wow he has fantastic speed. He reaches the white wash and I see him stand, well balanced and perfectly. I smile a beaming smile seeing him so talented and doing something he is passionate about. He rides the wave with ease and then enters a tunnel part, now I realise it must be the tube his coach was talking about. Perfect. Well I’m no expert but I’d say he did an awesome job.

  When he’s done he paddles back to the shore. I run up to him so excited. “Wow baby that was fantastic, do you know how awesome you looked out there?” I scream so proud. I kiss him.

  “You really should come to training more; I could use a cheer squad like you more often.” He smirks and kisses me back.

  “Woot, woot,” we hear the other surfers wolf whistles.

  “Come on lover boy, warm down,” his coach calls out laughing. He runs over to them and proceeds with his stretches.

  Chapter 9

  Honesty is the Best Policy, or is it

  We are having a quiet night in; pizza, wine and he let me choose a chick flick, The Notebook to be exact... I am finally feeling calm and not high strung, not partying or doing drugs for a month and I’m reaping the rewards. Man am I thankful for this man. My work colleagues have noticed a big difference too, I’m not running late especially on Mondays and Tuesdays, and I’m not a scatter brain when it comes to messages and new orders.

  We are eating the best pizza in town, a bottle of wine down and it’s so enjoyable and magical how comfortable I feel with Kade. He has one whinge about The Notebook but otherwise he watches
it with me. We are holding hands and snuggling. “Why the hell didn’t they fight for each other?” Kade says quite seriously. “I fought for you Roxy, and I’d do it all again¸” he says so sincerely and with wonder.

  I just laugh and say, “I am so glad you didn’t give up on me.”

  The best part is coming up with the boat scene and I squeeze his hand. He looks into my eyes. “Do you know how beautiful your blue eyes are, they are like the ocean baby,” he declares to me. And I feel just like she does. “They are so gonna hook up again,” Kade says and I laugh again. The rain in the movie feels so much more intimate with him by my side. Then Noah and Ally get out of the boat.

  “Why didn’t you write me?” she asks. “It wasn’t over for me?”

  I’m crying, damn this bit always gets me. Then the kiss, so much passion, pent up lust and love that had been taken away from them. Kade looks at me and smiles. I instantly lean into kiss him. It’s a long, emotional and passionate kiss. Kade pulls back and looks at me. “I love you Roxy, and I am so happy with how things are going baby,” he tells me so sincerely.

  “Me too Kade, can I just say look how far we have come, I mean it’s like a movie all its own, you and me,” I tell him smiling.

  “What is our cute nickname? You know how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have Brangelina would we be Koxy or Rade?” I am now hysterically laughing.

  “Damn Roxy that was pretty bad, even for you,” Kade jokes.

  I don’t know why but I feel like I need to be honest with Kade about that night at the club. “Baby you know that night at the club where I was in the bathroom with Jemma?” I say instantly regretting it.

  “Of course, I was so worried,” he says.

  “Well I want to be honest with you,” I say. He looks at me like I’m about to end it.

  “What do you mean, be honest?” Kade asks. “You lied to me?” he adds.

  “I didn’t exactly lie. Yes I was in the bathroom with Jemma but I wasn’t sick from the drinks,” I say. He is looking at me so seriously. “I had taken an ecstasy pill and I had a bad reaction,” I spit out, damn it’s good to be honest, but shit I know it won’t be a good reaction from Kade.

  “You had ecstasy that night?” Kade asks. “I thought you said you had taken drugs in the past Roxy?” he adds.

  “To be honest I had been taking them the whole time we were together, but that night at the club was the last time, I promise.” I tell him and try to cuddle into him, he pulls away.

  “Shit Rox, you should have told me the truth, you know how I feel about drugs and to think you were still taking them and lying to me about it, well it’s fucking wrong,” he tells me angrily.

  “I know I am so sorry that’s why I am being honest now, I can’t keep it from you any longer. It’s done and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. But I can promise you I will never do it again,” I tell him holding his hand and being so sincere.

  “You have given me the strength to stop taking them. I was becoming addicted Kade. Your love and faith helped me to do something I never thought I could do,” I am now crying while confessing.

  “Shit Roxy, that’s so bad, you were really hooked? Shit, you should have told me, honesty is so important to me,” he adds. He cuddles me and comforts me. “Please promise me no more secrets or lies baby?” Kade whispers to me.

  I nod and tell him, “I promise you, I will never touch drugs

  again, I have you and you are my new addiction baby.” I kiss his lips, giving him another piece of my heart.

  Another kiss, another cuddle and ten minutes later we were making love, with the deepest of fervency and passion for each other. I never knew that I could feel this way. That someone could be capable of reciprocating these feelings for me.

  This is pure love.

  Kade spends the night and we snuggle in each other’s arms all night, I am connected to him in a way I have never experienced before. I wake up stiff from his arm wrapped around me all night, but so happy for the euphoric feeling. This man loves me. Only me, every part of me and it’s for much more than sex. He loves me for my heart, for my mind, body and soul and I love him equal.

  Kade wakes at four thirty to leave for surfing practice. He embraces me tightly and kisses my cheek, neck and ears. “Damn I love you, wish I didn’t have to leave you looking so beautiful. I would spend the day in bed with you baby,” he whispers in my ear. I get goose bumps.

  “I love you too, come back later. Maybe I’ll still be here naked and waiting,” I tell him and grab his arse pulling him into me and kissing his neck.

  “I gotta go baby.” With that one last kiss he leaves.

  I drift back off to sleep.

  When he comes back later as promised I’m naked still and we don’t leave the bedroom the rest of the day, well just to the kitchen for food and drink. Oh and the whipped cream.

  The next day at work Kade sends me a bouquet of pink roses, my favourite I guess he’s been paying attention, with a card that says ‘I love you always and forever’. Oh my god, he is insanely sweet. All I can think of is seeing him after work and hugging him and kissing those lips. I think we both have it bad. I start wondering to myself will I ever get sick of him; I can’t imagine it at this point in time that I ever will. Which then causes an overload in my brain; I start to think what if it’s too good to be true. What if he gets sick of me first, what if he meets someone else, and what if I’m not enough or too much down the track? Damn it Roxy, you always manage to spoil the moment with your stupid thoughts.

  Chapter 10

  Lake house getaway

  Two weeks later I am packing for his lake house. It was originally his mum and dads and he bought them out with a personal loan. This will be my second time there. Kade knocks on the door at around five on Friday afternoon. “Hi baby, you ready to go?” he asks and kisses me.

  “Almost, just let me grab my towel,” I say as I head to the linen cupboard.

  “You will have to come next time Jemma,” Kade tells her as she is laying on the lounge watching Revenge re-runs.

  “For sure, I’d love to come,” Jemma answers him. I kiss her on the cheek.

  “Behave while I’m gone sweetie,” I say cheekily.

  “Always,” she says smirking and now I am wondering what

  plans she has on her mind. Knowing Jemma it will be something messy. I grab my overnight bag and shove my towel in it before Kade takes it from me.

  I pick up my handbag and keys. “Bye Jem,” I say and wave.

  “Bye you two love birds enjoy your weekend, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she adds laughing.

  “Impossible,” I say laughing back.

  It will take us an hour and a half of driving north to reach Whitehaven Beach where Kade’s lake house is.

  It’s right on the lake, glass windows all around which is perfect for the water views. I am in love with the décor, it’s very modern inside. Blue walls with a beach theme and it’s very comfortable as well with a three seater and a two seater lounge.

  Kade’s sister Ebony and her husband John are coming along this time. Why does this make me uneasy? She is lovely so I’m sure there will be no awkward moments. I will just have to keep my screams to a minimum, like we do at his place. Ha-ha, always think of the important things I know.

  I’m definitely hoping for a bit of alone time with my honey. In between his job and mine, the surfing mornings and afternoons we haven’t had a lot of us time lately. Don’t need the fire to burn out before it’s even started.

  We are on our way, driving down the freeway, radio pumping when Nickleback comes on. “Oh my god I love Nickleback,” I confess to Kade. “If you listen to their albums all of the lyrics have so much meaning and emotion.” Kade looks at me smirking.

  “Well Roxy, you are a softy underneath that hard shell after all, that’s why I love you,” he whispers. I feel quite vulnerable with his eyes boring into me. It feels as though he is burrowing deeper layer by layer into my heart and soul. It scar
es me to the bone; the deeper I fall the harder I will fall if it ends badly. But in the same thought, I’m not letting go of a good thing when it’s going in the right direction. I put my hand on top of his on the gear stick and squeeze it and smile.

  “I love you too baby,” I declare.

  We drive into the driveway of the house; I wind my window down and take in the salty air. It’s always so refreshing and exhilarating. I’ve been to the beach hundreds of times with Kade for surfing or to swim, but this place is just mesmerising. I could see myself growing old with Kade and living here. Shit, did my brain really just think that? And now I start to freak myself out. You are only twenty-four Rox; you still have years until you need to think about that crap. Am I getting too serious with Kade too quickly? We are young we should be out partying not having quiet Friday and Saturday nights with his older sister and her husband.

  I climb out of the car and grab my bag while Kade unlocks the door. As I walk up the steps he turns to me and pulls me into him for a kiss. Well that’s more like it; I grab his hair and pull him closer thrusting into him. “Mmmmm,” he moans through our kiss. I grab his arse and squeeze it and then look into his eyes, I love the look of passion in his brown eyes, and he is desperate for me. I grab his hand and pull him into the bedroom pushing him onto the bed. I take off my pink singlet showing him my sexy black and pink lace bra, a new purchase for this weekend. “Gorgeous,” he tells me as I climb on top of him and kiss him passionately. Then I kiss his neck and nibble on his ear, licking it with my tongue I know he loves it by the hissing he’s making.

  “You are wearing too many clothes baby,” I tell him while trying to rip his t-shirt over his head. I’m successful.

  Seeing his tanned, muscly body makes me so wet. His six

  pack is so toned and perfect. I just can’t believe he was a virgin before me, why weren’t girls throwing themselves at this hottie.

  “You need to lose the jeans Rox,” he tells me very insistent and undoes the button and zipper. I hop off him and pull them down all the way, while purposely showing him the sexy pink and black lacy g-string that matches the bra. It is hot and I know it!