Breaking My Heart Read online

  He is so well hung and I think that has to be an added bonus that turns me on even more, just cuddling up to him isn’t enough I want him inside me filling me, stretching and pleasuring me whenever he is near.

  We are like teenagers we can’t keep our hands off each other.

  The Notebook always comes to mind as we are both stubborn as hell and when we argue it is crazy, vicious and nasty but the make-up sex is friggen worth it. I can be such a bitch. I am just not the girl that keeps her mouth shut and does what she is told. I love Kade so much it hurts, but I am still independent and think I always will be. I am also sensitive and highly emotional. So the little stirs and insults that may be said in fun always seem to sting.

  He is the most stubborn person on the planet and needs to learn that I am a capable woman who can put her own bin out, drive myself places and I don’t need him to be my guardian twenty-four seven. I know how to throw a punch thanks to my brother and knee a guy in the groin if he messes with me.

  Kade lives in the olden days and thinks men should always be a gentlemen and treat a woman like a princess. How do you find the balance?

  We are having our usual debate about me leaving work after dark. “Damn it Rox, just let me pick you up, it’s dangerous. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you,” Kade insists which is annoying the hell out of me.

  “No way, I managed before you came along I am not changing things just because you worry,” I yell. “Just forget it as it is not gonna happen,” I add and poke him in the chest.

  “You are so infuriating Roxy, stubborn as hell and too independent for your own good.” He pushes me to the bed and climbs on top.

  “Get off me, you don’t control me Kade,” I scream. He laughs and starts to tickle me. “No stop, stop!” I’m screaming while laughing uncontrollably and I can’t stop.

  “Fuck you drive me insane!” I scream at him. He reaches down and kisses me while grinding his groin into my core. I thrust upwards still so god damn mad at him. “Do you think sex will make it better?” I ask him.

  “Yep, sex with you can make anything better. I will tease

  and torture you until you let me pick you up from work,” he whispers.

  “Torture away baby you will never win though. It will be fun letting you try,” I laugh but the thought of it gets me all worked up.

  Kade is off to surfing training so I decide to phone my mum. “Hey mum, how are you?” I ask her as she answers. “I am good and so is Kade,” I answer her mothering questions.

  “Jemma and I have booked pole dancing classes, it sounds like a fun way to get fit and have some laughs that’s for sure,” I tell her. She laughs as well.

  Then she tells me “Oh Roxy you girls will have a ball and I’ve heard you get abs of steel,”

  I am so glad I moved out when I did as mum and I have a new found respect for each other, not being in each other’s space but talking and catching up like close friends.

  I’m super excited to be raunchy and sexy with my bff at these classes. We just don’t get the girly time like we used too, life is hectic and well when I’m not working I just wanna be with my baby.

  Telling Kade about the classes was not fun at all. “Baby Jemma and I are doing fitness classes one night a week, you know to try and tone up and have some fun,” I tell him not really lying just not adding all the details.

  “What sort of fitness? Like boxing or aerobics?” he asks.

  “Well yeah sort of,” I tell him, now unsure of what to say next.

  “Roxy what are you not telling me?” he smirks, damn it I

  should know I can’t lie, never been good at it.

  “Okay you’ve got me. Jemma and I are doing pole dancing classes,” I yell to him and chuckle.

  Kade is not impressed. “What, you are really doing pole dancing classes?” he asks me and now he laughs.

  “Don’t laugh, it will be awesome and have you seen the bodies on pole dancers?” I add trying to convince him that he will benefit too.

  “So who is your teacher, male or female?” he asks me giving me the fifth degree. Ha-ha jealous much?

  “Our instructor is female, the whole class is girls and there are no guys within twenty meters of the studio. Happy?” I laugh. “Do you know how flexible I will be after I finish baby?” I say to him very assertively.

  “Oh yeah you have me sold baby that will be hot for us in the bedroom. You will be more flexible and we could try some new positions Rox,” I see him pitching a tent in his pants. I am now laughing so hard.

  Jemma and I turn up to Blush Dance School for our first lesson.

  I’m dressed in my short bike shorts and a casual singlet, Jemma is more provocative in her hot pants and halter neck.

  Our teacher’s name is Diva, very fitting as she has purple hair, a bikini top with sequins and some very high cut hot pants.

  There are ten girls in our class; short tall, skinny, not so skinny, younger than Jemma and I, all walks of life.

  “Hey ladies I’m Diva and welcome to Blush Dance

  School,” announces a bubbly and energetic Diva. “Let’s start off getting to know each other, everyone say their name and their occupation then after the introductions are done we will do some warm up stretches and a couple of jogs around the studio,” Diva says with enthusiasm.

  “Now that our muscles are warm and stretched I will show you our beginner pose, it is called the knee bridge, Diva tells us while she gets into position. “Just get on your knees and make a bridge under your back,” she says while thrusting her back up.

  “Now everyone can give it a go,” she says cheering us all along.

  I do as she says and stretch up my back and boy can I feel the muscles working and stretching, I think I will hurt in muscles I never knew existed tomorrow.

  After a few more floor poses, we move onto something more exciting.

  “Ok so we are going to try something awesome guys, I know it’s your first week but I want you to walk away tonight thinking how much fun you had and how you can’t wait to come back next week,” says an enthusiastic Diva “This is called a front hook spin,” Diva tells us in a seductive voice.

  “You begin walking forward around the pole with your inside arm holding onto the pole and then hook your inside leg around the front of the pole and bring your outside arm to the pole. Your outside leg will be last to come into position. Watch and learn bitches!” she screams. This makes us all hysterical with laughter. And she goes into the front hook spin. Wow that looks awesome and shit can I do that I think, how embarrassing. But bring it.

  “Woo hoo Jemma let’s try it,” I call out to her feeling

  pumped. I start walking forward around my pole and do as I’m told and the way Diva did it, but end up with my hand sliding down the pole. “Oh fuck,” I say laughing. “You try Jemma,” I point to her and her pole.

  So she does her sexy walk forward around her pole, inside arm holding and hooks her leg around, other arm in and outside leg. It is fucking perfect. “You’re a bitch you know that right?” I smirk at her. “All the late night romps have made you the flexible woman that you are,” I tell her giggling

  “Woot, nailed it,” she says while climbing down.

  Now I know where Tia’s bruises came from when she did her classes.

  Inside my arm will be bruised for sure.

  We head home still on a high from the class. “I think I’ll feel that tomorrow,” Jemma tells me.

  “Definitely,” I add yawning.

  I get home to a gorgeous tanned surfer asleep in my bed. He looks so relaxed and peaceful; I snap a quick photo with my phone.

  I then grab a quick shower and climb in beside my main man and cuddle into him, spooning.

  I drift off to sleep in record time.

  The next night Kade and I have our first real fight.

  My phone beeps. Not too worried about who it might be so I let Kade pick it up and read the message.

  “Who the hell is Dane?” Kad
e asks me angrily.

  “What?” I ask not really paying attention.

  “You have a message on your phone from Dane, who the fuck is he Roxy?” Kade yells with his scary voice that I have been lucky not to hear until now.

  Kade looks at me waiting for my response. “It is just a guy that I used to hang out with. Why what does it say?” I query and I cringe at the thought. He throws my phone to me.

  What you doing sexy?

  I was expecting much worse but still not impressed to get it.

  “Doesn’t he know you have a boyfriend?” Kade queries me still agitated.

  I find myself twirling my hair between my fingers. It was something that I always do when tired or nervous without realising it.

  “I have not seen him for like a year,” I respond to his questioning, hoping he drops it soon.

  “Look baby,” I say and show him my phone as he watches me text back.

  I’ve met someone and now have a boyfriend sorry dude.

  That made him smile. “Sorry Kade, I wish that didn’t happen,” I disclose to him slightly embarrassed.

  “Just be honest with everything like that for me okay Rox, I accept you have a past and as long as you are honest and don’t try to hide things, it will be okay,” he says kissing me. Now for the hot and awesome make up sex.

  I really regret him seeing that message as the next few days

  I find him checking my phone and always asking who I spoke to and who I’m with when not with him.

  I sometimes wish I didn’t have so much baggage and could erase the person I used to be, but hey you can’t let your past define you. Everyone is capable of change and making amends. Let’s just hope this relationship with Kade continues along this same path and there are no more speed humps along the way.

  We are chilling on the lounge just cuddling and watching movies, is that not the best thing ever? I swear I could lay next to his muscular body forever. I feel contentment and it feels amazing, it’s something I have taken for granted in the past and thought it would never happen for me.

  I’m not a religious person but I thank god for giving me Kade; he has shown me love, commitment and the way that a girl should be treated. “You are so beautiful Roxy, do you know that?” he tells me for the fourth time today. We are both so lucky to have each other, waking up to him is the best feeling in the world and I know that he loves me more than anything he has ever known. I definitely feel the same. I get butterflies when I see him, a spark ignites when we touch and I miss him painfully when we are not together. Boy does he put me on a pedestal. This is a sensation that makes me feel wonderful and loved unlike anything I ever thought possible. I feel like baby in Dirty Dancing when Johnny risks his job, friends and popularity by announcing Francis is my girl. Nobody puts baby in the corner. Love it.

  Chapter 13

  Smooth Sailing -–Or Is It?

  Our next obstacle is his best mate’s fiancée. Emma.

  Jealousy is a curse I tell you. Why would she see me as a threat if she is happy with Pete? Why is there any need for the green eyed monster to appear?

  It all starts when we go to a barbeque at Emma and Pete’s house. “How nice was Thursday’s weather Kade, I swear if it wasn’t for you our pool would hardly get used,” she says to him in front of me.

  He looks at me. “It was sweltering after work and I had to pick up a cd so I jumped in for a quick swim,” Kade tells me looking guilty.

  Why the fuck didn’t he mention it on Thursday? “No problem,” I say to him, not giving her the satisfaction that I am pissed off to the max. It is mostly because she is trying to cause trouble, but also because Kade couldn’t be honest. What were his words? Always be honest. This is a conversation for later.

  “It’s just not the same around here is it Pete? I mean Kade was like furniture at our place for the last two years,” she laughs. Obviously she is insinuating that now he has me they haven’t seen him. Just be happy for the guy, Jesus. I’m not your typical bitchy woman; I don’t see the point, its high school bull shit that I always kept away from.

  “Well I have definitely been keeping him busy that’s for sure,” I say to Emma and move in to kiss Kade. This is his life, so keep your nose out of it I really want to say. I let it slide.

  The barbeque is slightly awkward now, but another friend of theirs is here with his wife, I know him as Johnno, his wife Julia is friendly and down to earth. “Hey Roxy I’m glad to finally meet you,” she tells me and hugs me.

  “Nice to meet you as well Julia,” I declare to her and really mean it as she’s lovely. “Do you guys live around here?” I ask her trying to make conversation.

  “Yep we are about ten minutes away, oh and don’t mind Emma she doesn’t do tact very well,” she tells me quietly and giggles.

  “Tell me about it,” I respond also with a chuckle. Then I whisper so Kade can’t hear me. “Does she have a thing for Kade?”

  “Not that I know of, her and Pete have been together since high school,” she replies.

  Okay well now I feel slightly better. Kade looks over to me and smiles. I smile but give him the look telling him you are going to spill the beans later mister. “Can I get you a drink Rox?” Kade asks me sweetly, obviously trying to suck up.

  “Sure whatever’s going babe,” I reply in a cheerful way. He heads over to the esky with Johnno.

  “So what do you do for work?” I ask Julia as I am genuinely interested in this sweet girl.

  “I work for Rinnai Air Conditioners as a customer service operator,” she replies.

  “Cool, must keep you busy,” I say back to her.

  “Yep the days go super-fast, always on the phone or computer invoicing or ordering parts,” she adds disclosing some more detail.

  “What about you Roxy?” she queries.

  “I work in graphic design four days and go to uni on Fridays, I love my job,” I tell her really sincerely.

  “Sounds like an awesome job honey, so you must be creative and witty,” she adds with a compliment.

  “I love designing and creating and I guess I have the right imagination for it, the end result is always one of accomplishment that’s for sure,” I exclaim to her feeling enthusiastic.

  “My girlfriend Jemma and I designed our apartment; there are lots of bright colours and shabby sheik bits and pieces,” I mention too.

  “I’ll have to check it out sometime,” she tells me sounding interested.

  “Sure you and Johnno should come over for a barbeque,” I announce to her as she and I seem to be clicking.

  Kade comes back with a cruiser for me and we sit down at an empty table. “Thanks,” I say cheerfully as I look at his stunning brown and yellow irises.

  “I was just telling Julia about my graphic design and told her that her and Johnno will have to come over for dinner one night,” I add sounding keen to catch up again.

  “For sure that would be great,”’ he exclaims and clinks his beer with Johnno’s.

  He looks a few years older than Kade, has brown short hair, not quite olive skin, a few freckles and bit of a beer gut, not a surfer that’s for sure. I look over to Julia, her and Johnno are a good match. She has brown hair in a bob, pretty in a natural way, freckles as well, very short and petite, dressed in very casual cargos and a fitted shirt.

  Kade introduces me to a few other people and they all seem easy going and relaxed. So far Emma is the only stand out bitch.

  Pete comes to sit with us; he and Kade have been best mates since high school so around nine years he told me. “Hey Roxy, you okay for a drink?” he queries me being friendly.

  “Yep all good thanks Pete, you sure are a good host,” I say smirking.

  “Trying my best to impress,” he laughs.

  I look around to see where Emma is hiding and see her looking back at me. What is her problem?

  She heads on over to us, and sits on Pete’s knee. “Here you are,” she says drearily. Her body language is pointing away from me but into Kade.
I put my hand on his leg, staking my claim. He puts his hand on top and squeezes it. “So Kade how are Ebony and John?” she asks him not including me.

  “They are good, not much new just working,” he replies to her. “They came down the coast the other week,” he adds.

  “When are we going to get another invite it’s been a while?” she asks him rudely.

  “Roxy and I have had a few times alone there, I guess I’ve just been showing her around a bit,” he confesses to her. Why the fuck does he have to answer to her.

  “Yep you showed me the bedroom numerous times baby,” I say and kiss him as he laughs and blushes.

  “Give Kade a break Em, he is in love, we were like them many moons ago,” Pete says to her sticking up for his best mate. How the hell does he put up with her shit, day in and day out I wonder?

  “So Emma are you organised for your wedding? Not long to go now?” I say to her not really caring but I won’t be made out to be the quiet rude bitch.

  “Oh I have been so busy, but it will be perfect, still a bit to do,” she replies with no eye contact. “Only two months to go, I just worry that February will be too hot but it will still be amazing,” she adds with a confidence that tells me she loves herself way too much.

  “I will put you at the table with Ebony and John, seeing as though you won’t be able to sit with Kade and all,” she adds and I swear I see a tiny smirk. She is one to watch, I can feel it.

  Thank god in another hour Kade whispers to me, “You ready to go baby?”

  “I thought you’d never ask,” I say and smile.

  “It wasn’t that bad now was it?” he questions with a

  worried expression.

  “No your friends are great, I just find Emma to be a rude bitch honestly,” I say being straight.

  “Yep she is like that with a lot of girls, that’s why she hasn’t got many close girl friends,” he adds. Thank god it’s not just me.

  “So spill the beans about the swim,” I declare while hopping in the car and trying not to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

  “Oh yeah sorry baby, you were still at work and I dropped over after surfing to get my Powder Finger cd and well it was boiling and the pool was so inviting,” he announces to me looking unsure of how I will react.