Forever in my Heart: Book 3 in My Heart Series Page 6
“Well, I hope K-man told her to get fucked,” she states firmly and straight to the point.
“He told her he’s not interested and he has a girlfriend, but that’s not the bad part Jem,” I confess to her as a lump forms in my throat and I struggle to get the words out.
“Oh my God Roxy, what’s happened? What has she done?” Jemma pleads with me to reveal the sinister details.
“She is fucking pregnant Jemma, and she is saying the baby is Kade’s!” I disclose the horrid nightmare that has my mind hurting every second of the day.
“Jesus fucking Christ woman, this is insane!” Jemma states sounding appalled about it.
“Is he kidding, Roxy? I mean bloody idiot, who doesn’t wear a condom these days? Gross Rox, maybe you should get tested for STD’s,” she cautions me.
“Oh fuck, Jem I didn’t even think of that. Oh my God, that’s another fucking thing,” I mumble feeling tired and deflated over the whole ordeal.
“Sorry Rox, I didn’t mean to make it worse. I’m just thinking of you and your safety that’s all,” Jemma reassures me by squeezing my hand across the table.
I can’t hide my dejected emotions any longer as I burst into a flood of tears. They are tears for the man I love, tears for the unwanted pregnancy neither of us saw coming, and tears for the unavoidable roadblock we now have wedged between us.
“It’s just not fair Jem! We are so happy and so in love. Life is perfect, well it was perfect. What the fuck, why does this have to happen? Why is life so cruel and unfair to people who don’t deserve it?” I quiz my saviour of a best friend who rain, hail, or shine is here for me, through thick and thin.
“It will work out Rox, I have faith in you and Kade; look at the obstacles life has already thrown at you and you kept fighting for each other. You never gave up before, so don’t give up now,” she declares to me with heartfelt words that make me smile a sweet, wistful smile.
“Oh, Jem that was beautiful. Trust me I am not giving up on us, a volcano couldn’t keep me away from Kade. Stacey, the town slut, definitely won’t,” I debate to her feeling vivacious and exhilarated at the words we have both spoken.
“Stacey the scamming skank will wish she never messed with us, Rox. I promise you I will make her life a living hell. Just who does she think she is messing with my best friend?” Jemma protests and points out that she is not a force to reckon with.
Hallelujah Jemma the hard arsed woman has just raised the bar. Good luck to Stacey, or shall I say goodbye.
The whole drama is making me tired and as such the rest of the week is a bit of a blur.
The constant conflict that I am struggling with is what I know is right and what I should do versus what I feel.
I feel in love, I feel safe, and I feel whole when I’m with Kade. But I know life will never be the same if Stacey’s baby is his.
The fork in the road will be there forever. Much like the song ‘Thorne in My Side’ first it’s Dylan, now the blonde whore.
What would really hurt, are all the firsts that should be with our baby; first bath, first words, first steps...
Kade will always be connected to her.
What if down the road they decide, getting back together is the best decision for their child?
Where will that leave me?
Am I willing to take that chance?
I try my best not to dwell on it. I can’t make the results come any faster so Kade and I will wait and see.
Evenings for me are not any better trying to sleep is impossible with my mind going over all of the different possible outcomes.
The quote from Alice in Wonderland fits me perfect right now, “The little girl just could not sleep because her thoughts were way too deep. Her mind had gone out for a stroll and fallen down a rabbit hole.”
Kade
I really hate that I have a million thoughts constantly running through my mind. It’s starting to affect my work. I have always been one to keep my private life separate, but this is killing me.
I double booked two clients and I have lost the interest in my training schedule that I’ve always loved. The worst part is my teaching; I have no enthusiasm or drive for it now.
Damn Stacey to Hell!
The goddamn insomnia is to blame. I’ve been finding it hard to get to sleep, tossing and turning and watching the late night channels. And of all the stupid things to do, I locked my keys in the van yesterday. Good thing one window was ajar so I could push it down further.
It’s all due to the extra stress, baby. It’s causing all kinds of issues.
Roxy has been distant and it kills me more than anything else. I know her perception of me has changed. Even though she still loves me and is not going anywhere, she is obviously feeling detached from our relationship.
I am going to attempt to fix the distance if it’s the last thing I do.
Roxy is meeting me at Dad’s, since tonight is his poker night with his new mates so I’m trying to go above and beyond by cooking her dinner and giving her a surprise I got today. That’s the good thing about being your own boss; I finished early at two and hit the shops.
The doorbell chimes just after six pm, so I race to let my angel inside.
The stress hasn’t affected the way I feel about her, that is for sure.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I say to her and pull her snug into my arms. I gently place my lips on hers and kiss her sweetly as I caress her face showing her my feelings.
“Hi baby, it’s good to see you. Work went so slow today,” she replies and kisses my cheek playfully. Now this is more like the Roxy I know, maybe she is starting to deal with the situation better.
“Here sit and put your feet up. I’m cooking marinated chicken breast, mashed potato and veggies, nothing spectacular, but I know I can’t stuff this one up.” I smirk.
“That sounds just perfect. You are the best chicken marinater I know, Kade,” she jokes and damn I love it when she is back to her sarcastic self.
I slowly pour her a small glass of water, as she sits and literally puts her feet up on the chair and kicks off her heels.
“Water to start, madam,” I tell her pretending to be a French waiter. Maybe I will seduce her later with my French accent. Focus on dinner Kade, before you burn it.
“Why thank you kind, sir,” is her sweet reply.
“So I dread even asking you this, baby, but have you heard anything else about the pregnancy?” Roxy questions me looking a little worried about my response.
“Nope, I haven’t heard from her and I really hope it stays that way, babe. No news is good news.”
“Yeah well, fingers crossed for that,” she replies nodding as we both secretly pray to God that the outcome is what we want.
I need to change the dreary subject; pretending to be French should do it. “Dinner is served Miss Thorne. Tonight we have the chicken seasoned in honey soy marinade, with a white potato mash and mixed summer vegetables, steamed to perfection,” I advise her in my terrible French accent, trying to keep the situation light.
“You are the sexiest French waiter I have ever seen Mr. Thomas,” she replies seductively and this role-playing dinner is getting steamier by the minute.
“Let’s eat before I add you as the main course, Rox,” I state gazing down at her cheeky smile and those bare legs showing in her grey work skirt.
“I’m a much better dessert food, wouldn’t you say baby?” the smart arse woman I love so much replies. I can’t help but chuckle as I dish out our dinner and place it down in front of her.
“You are edible to me breakfast, lunch, or dinner, baby,” I retort putting her in her place.
“But I will definitely be having you as my dessert tonight, covered with whipped cream, of course.” I proceed to rub my hand up her arm as I brush past her, causing goosebumps to break out across her skin.
“Hmm, well you definitely have me wanting to skip the main meal, Kade,” she replies and I see the lust in her eyes as she bites her lower lip.
“Oh, I love surprises, I’m like a kid at Christmas, so I won’t mention dessert again baby. Except to say that the whipped cream will also be sprayed on your toned body and much like your confession, I won’t miss a drop of your goodness either,” she replies seductively.
My breath hitches at her comment and I beam with lust. I need to avoid eye contact or we may have a repeat of the kitchen sex we had last time she was here. I meander into my seat and busy myself with cutting my piece of chicken.
Roxy giggles at my evident mode of distraction, but she follows my lead and starts with her own meal. “The chicken is delicious Kade, just enough of the marinade.”
“Yes it is nice; not as great as your fettuccine but for a man I did a pretty good job in the kitchen, wouldn’t you agree?” I question her, looking for a little praise.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it babe, that fettuccine is at A-grade level so don’t try to compete baby,” she jokes to me, picking on my cooking, while giving herself a big head.
“I will wash up in a little bit but first I want to show you something, Rox,” I tell her feeling a little excited and apprehensive about what her response will be.
“Look baby I know it’s been a rough month and we didn’t expect this hiccup along the way,” I state honestly and openly.
“I just need you to know that you and I are forever no matter what Rox. There is no life or existence without you Roxy, so I did something to prove just how much you mean to me and to show you that I am in this relationship forever, without a doubt till the day I die.” I confess deeply to her.
Her eyes widen and become watery from my declaration, then she smiles a wide smile showing me her perfect white teeth.
I need to finally show her the surprise. I turn around and roughly start to lift my t-shirt from my back, really hating that I can’t see Roxy’s first reaction when she sees it.
Throwing my shirt to the floor, I reveal to her my first ever tattoo.
I have honourably gotten her name tattooed on my left shoulder blade.
If this doesn’t show I’m in this forever, then I really don’t know what will...
“Oh my, fucking God Kade! You got my name tattooed on your back? Oh my God!” she screams and then bursts into tears as I embrace her as tight as possible.
“I love you Roxanne Lilly Thorne and you are the only woman on the planet for me. No matter what the hell happens, I want you to know that it will never change my feelings for you, they are forever just like this tattoo,” I confess to her with all my love.
“Oh Kade, I am so overwhelmed with joy. Wow, I am honoured that you have my name etched into your skin. Jesus Christ, talk about over the top. But honestly it is kind of perfect right now, because any thoughts of you running off with the skanky blonde are now out the window,” she jokes and I chuckle at the thought of running off with Stacey.
“A bloke doesn’t just get a tattoo of a chick’s name permanently inked on his body if they aren’t one hundred percent certain they are for eternity. You just did a Babe Ruth and knocked the baseball out of the ballpark, baby,” Roxy replies with the best response I could have asked for, I’m so glad she can see how we are going to be together forever.
“I love you now and forever, Kade, and I would get your name tattooed on any part of me in an instant, just so you know,” my sweet girl replies enthusiastically.
“Do you realise how much better my life is with you being a big part of it, baby?” Roxy confesses deeply and wholeheartedly.
“I was destined to love you, Kade, and I will continue to do so forever, until my dying day. You have replenished my soul and given me peace of mind and solitude. I don’t need to worry or stress when I have your love. I know with you that my heart is safe and I can fall asleep every night knowing it still belong to you.”
Hearing those words makes my heart swell. This amazing woman is so patient, amazing, and one hundred percent mine, no matter what...
Chapter 8
Drowning my Sorrows
Kade
“Rox, do you mind if I meet Pete at the pub for a few drinks tomorrow afternoon?” I ask my girl, feeling like I need some male company. Another point of view on the fucked up serial that is unfolding before my eyes would be helpful,
“We never get the chance to catch up anymore and I guess Pete and I both need a few cold ones,” I confess honestly as we sit on the sand together.
Even though I work here all day, there is nothing better than chilling here with this beautiful woman, gazing out at the ocean.
“Of course I don’t mind Kade, not one bit. It will be good for both of you. Why don’t you get Pete to pick you up and leave your car at my place?” Roxy suggests and the idea sounds good to me. No point in us both taking our cars, and who wants to be limited to two drinks?
“Great idea, that way I can come home and climb into bed with you my beautiful lady,” I remark to lighten the mood, I don’t want her thinking I need space from her.
“I definitely like the sound of that. Not too many drinks though baby; you know what happened last time you got blind drunk. I won’t be bailing you out of jail this time.” I can’t help but smile a devilish grin, remembering the awesome punch I gave Robert.
Well, he did deserve it, sleeping with his best mate’s Wife, after all.
The Bay hotel is crazy busy for a week night, and there are only a couple free tables with endless chatter going on and a juke box playing by the bar. So far, the jukebox has played Jimmy Barnes and Pearl Jam; both easy listening rock.
Both are great choices.
We find a spare table and go to sit at the timber and stainless steel table that’s pretty scratched and beaten up.
“I’ll grab the first round of beers, Pete. You want Tooheys man?” I ask him since that is his usual beverage of choice.
“Yep, sounds good,” he responds looking eager to get started. I guess having a new baby in the house would be tiring.
“Hey Joe, how are you mate?” I chat to the bartender. He’s worked here for quite a few years. When I was single, this was a regular hangout spot of mine.
“Hey Kade, good to see you. I’m okay dude, you?” he responds in his usual friendly demeanour.
“All good here, bro,” I respond lying through my teeth. Well, eighty percent of my life is perfect and the other twenty percent is fucked up.
“What can I get you and Pete to drink?” I’m sure he would like to stand around and talk all night, but the other customers might not be too impressed.
“Two schooners of Tooheys new, please.” He gives me a nod and starts to pour our drinks.
“Seven bucks even,” he remarks as he places both beers on the mat on the edge of the bar.
I hand him the money and head back to Pete. I figure I will be seeing Joe quite a few more times before we leave tonight.
Looking around the pub a group of guys are playing pool and are getting louder; especially the ones losing. Another pair of guys is playing darts, and a few women are seated in the booths chatting away.
We sit and soak up the atmosphere; it’s our little escape for the night.
“So how is that little girl of yours Pete?” I would never let him know but that little baby has a piece of my heart already.
“God Kade, she is amazing. She’s growing so fast, She is laughing now, but so cheeky at bedtime and she is so smart because she will cry when she doesn’t want to be put down,” he gushes over Crystal and I smile. To think we used to talk about cars, boats, and guy stuff and now it’s babies.
“She is smart like her uncle.” He just chuckles and shakes his head.
“Very funny,” he retorts.
“I reckon we should order some food before it gets too busy. What do you want to eat, Kado
?” he queries me. It’s perfect timing as my stomach rumbles right then.
“What about a good old meat pie and chips, Pete?” I reply to him, there is nothing better than a crunchy meat pie with sauce and some chunky hot chips, especially when drinking beer.
“Awesome pick, I’ll grab the same. How bout I go order.” I put my ten bucks on the table for him, then he strides over to the already packed bistro.
I hastily drink my ice-cold beer as I notice a pregnant woman walk in holding hands with her boyfriend or husband. They look in love and happy.
Well fuck, that’s the way it should be, not knocking up a random and being stuck with her in your life.
On that note I swiftly down the rest of the contents of my beer and trudge to the bar to order another.
“I’ll grab two Tooheys news and a shot of tequila this time, Joe.” I have every intention of blocking out the vision of a pregnant peroxide skank with as much alcohol as possible.
Joe positions the shot glass of tequila on the bars edge seconds before I eagerly make a grab for it and down it craving the numbness to take away my wayward thoughts.
Just maybe it can make me forget just how fucked up things are right now.
“Make that another shot, Joe,” I tell him instantaneously, the more, the better.
“You got it, Kade. Rough day at work buddy?” he questions me as I’m sure I look a sight ordering numerous shots. He’s probably seen it all and then some and can tell when a person is drinking to forget, escape, and just have fun.
“Well yep, something like that, Joe,” I reply, not letting on about my soap opera life. The last thing I need is everyone finding out. Jesus, maybe I should contemplate telling Ebony and John and of course Dad. I wouldn’t want them to find out another way for fucks sake.
I snatch my beer and take another sip as Joe pours the shot. A man scorned will drink the sorrow away. What’s the expression drinking like a fish?
“Kate,” I hear Pete call out as I turn to see him sit down at our table, I give him an acknowledging nod as I pay for the drinks and meander back over.
“You look like you have every intention of making it a big one tonight bro,” he states snickering and I’m assuming he saw me drinking shots at the bar.