Forever in my Heart: Book 3 in My Heart Series Page 5

  I shake my head trying to comprehend what in the hell she just said. She is pregnant with my baby?

  Did I not use a condom? I honestly can’t bloody remember. God, I was so irresponsible.

  I feel sick to my stomach.

  “I still don’t believe what you’re saying is true,” I state to her feeling a mixture of emotions.

  “You will be doing a paternity test Stacey, I need to have the proof before I believe anything you say,” I exclaim to her demanding that she will be getting the test done.

  “I know you must be thinking that I am doing this because I want you in my life Kade, but I am back with Ryan and you are with Roxy so it’s not like I want you to marry me. I am just giving you the heads up,” the blonde vixen declares with her hands on her hips.

  “Whether you are ready to be a dad or not, Kade, you have a baby on the way, so wrap your head around it. I’ll be in touch about the ultrasounds and other details,” she states with an attitude.

  “Bye for now, I guess fate wants us to be a part of each other’s lives Kade whether you like it or not,” she adds and turns to leave.

  The peroxide witch of the west walks back along the beach the same way she came. Good fucking riddance.

  I heavily slide down into the sand trying to wrap my head around this shit.

  I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart and I feel like I might spew.

  Bombshell and a half!

  Tell me this isn’t really happening?

  This is the one thing I have always dreaded.

  Being trapped and attached to someone over a child, it’s one of the worst things that could happen, and it is happening to me.

  Damn it all to fucking Hell!

  After I pull myself together I arrive at Roxy’s apartment, still feeling mentally drained but I can’t not see her, I am greeted by her open arms and a welcome kiss.

  If only she knew, what I have done, she would not be so welcoming.

  “Hi baby, so glad you are here,” she tells me sweetly, smelling of her delicious shower gel. I wrap my arms tightly around her and pull her closer.

  “Looks like you missed me too baby, that is some hug,” she adds sounding happy.

  “Yep, I missed you, you smell amazing,” I reply to her nuzzling into her neck.

  “Save that for later mister, I have made you my specialty fettuccine boscaiola, so come and relax with me and eat. You look tired today,” she states as she fusses over dishing up my dinner and opening me a beer.

  “I’ll just grab a quick shower if that’s okay? I’m all sweaty and covered in sand, Rox,” I respond honestly, but I really need a shower to clear my mind and think about what and if I’m going to tell her about today.

  The warm sprays of the shower are poetic and soothing on my face like they are washing away the drama of Stacey’s bombshell while purifying my soul.

  The steam surrounding me envelops my body; releasing part of the stress today has created. I scrub the soap into my skin as if washing away the past and the dirty secret that I know I have to share.

  It’s not like Roxy and I were together when it happened.

  But it is still a problem.

  Will Roxy be able to forgive me?

  I finish with a cold blast, refreshing my dullness. I have decided she needs to know but not tonight.

  After I am dry and take quite a few deep breaths, I dress in some clean clothes and head out to try some of the delicious smelling fettuccine.

  “This smells divine Rox. I bet it tastes just as good,” I remark to her as my mouth waters.

  I take my first mouthful it is delicious. My taste buds are having a party as I savour every single bite.

  “Jesus woman, this is sensational, I could eat this every night,” I exclaim to her as I shovel more into my gob. This is my new favourite dish.

  “I do agree it is pretty sensational, if we had this every night we might just end up the size of this apartment though, with the carb overload,” she agrees and makes a light-hearted joke.

  I do my best to avoid the inevitable conversation with Roxy about Stacey and her so-called news. There is something fake and untrustworthy about her that makes me second guess if I really am the father. I mean it was a one night stand and nothing more to me. I have always been safe and used protection so I don’t know how I would have slipped up.

  But being blind drunk and not remembering if I did or didn’t use protection, is not helping my situation.

  “I need an early night tonight baby,” I remark to her as we lay on the lounge.

  “Aw my poor man is tired. Must be all the salt water,” she replies and squeezes me in a tight embrace, which usually would have led to bedroom action.

  Honestly sex is the furthest thing from my mind right now, considering it got me into this mess in the goddamn first place.

  “How about you meet me for fish and chips on the beach after work tomorrow?” I suggest to her. The conversation needs to be had and I hate the thought of Roxy finding out from Stacey herself because I am sure she would stoop that low.

  “Yes, great idea. We need to make the most of this beautiful summer weather baby,” she replies and she snuggles in tighter against my chest. Dear Lord, I can’t lose this woman again, I honestly could not survive.

  The next day at work is no doubt one of the longest I’ve ever had. The thought of breaking the bad news to the love of my life and what her reaction might be is really tearing me apart.

  Thank Christ the working day is finished and I packed the van in record time, just as Roxy’s little blue car pulls up.

  She climbs out and looks damn sexy in a little black dress no longer than her knees. It’s hugging her plump body tightly in all the right ways. She is a vision of a goddess.

  “Hey baby,” she remarks to me heading on to the sand with our delicious smelling dinner.

  “Damn woman, you look smoking hot today, you should not be allowed to wear that particular dress to work, it fits that hot body of yours to perfection,” I state and can’t help but run my hands up her back and down to her arse as we embrace.

  “So that’s why my new male client hired me on the spot,” she jokes and smirks at me. That’s what I need right now to ease my tension.

  “Ha ha, very funny. You better not be hanging out with any other guys ogling your body in that outfit baby,” I reply half joking but half serious. I would deck any guy who would dare.

  “Okay, I have the fish and chips, here’s the blanket, now pick a spot and let’s eat, I’m famished and the food smells absolutely divine,” Roxy orders me.

  I click the keys to lock to the van and do as I am told by choosing a nice spot facing the ocean. I lay the blanket down for our perfect dinner picnic.

  If only it were going to be romantic, but not tonight that’s for sure.

  Roxy places the box holding the crumbed fish pieces and chips onto the blanket, as we both sit and relax, I can’t help but steal a chip, the smell is just too hard to resist.

  Roxy picks up the lemon wedge and squeezes it onto the fish for extra flavour, and using the provided plastic forks we dig in to enjoy our meal, with amazing views of the crashing waves.

  I need to start off the conversation with a few positives. From what I’ve learnt about relationships there is nothing good that can come from straight out negatives.

  “This is perfect Roxy. It’s the best way to end a day; just you and me and the ocean breeze,” I comment in between mouthfuls of fish.

  “God Rox, do you know how amazing it is that you are back in my life? I never stopped thinking about you when we were apart, Rox, not ever. I was so depressed and I felt so empty. Heartbreak left me lonely and shallow,” I confess to her. I have told her this before, but this time it is going in another direction.

  “Aw baby, you are such a sentimental one at times, but I know Kade. Life was meaningless for me too,” she replies sweetly.

  “I kind of need to tell you something that happened when we s
plit up, Rox,” I state to her fighting the lump in my throat.

  “I did something really stupid baby,” I add feeling about five centimetres tall right about now.

  “Oh, well, I’m sure it can’t be as stupid as dating a psycho who kidnaps you,” she jokes lightheartedly.

  “Well, it may just beat that,” I declare and I wish I could rewind the past.

  Roxy looks at me puzzled. She must be wondering what the hell I did.

  “What do you mean Kade? Why are you bringing this up now?” she proclaims looking totally confused and a little worried.

  “What could be worse?” she challenges me to answer her question.

  I can’t even bring myself to look up into her gorgeous eyes; my breathing restricts in my chest and my dinner is threatening to make a reappearance.

  “Shit, Rox, just know that it meant nothing and I was blind drunk,” I point out to her trying to sugar coat the ordeal.

  “Okay, now you are scaring me Kade, what the hell did you do?” she questions me looking less than impressed and frowning at the possibilities.

  I finally look up into her mesmerising sea blue eyes and at this moment they look a little weary and forlorn.

  “Well, here goes nothing. I slept with someone when I was staying in Byron Bay. It was just one time, just one night and like I said it meant nothing, it’s a blur really to be honest,” I confess to her and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

  “We were broken up Kade. It’s okay, I was with Dylan, I can’t hold that against you baby,” this unbelievable angel before me says, trying to make me feel better.

  “I-I know that, b-but there’s more, Rox,” I stutter my confession to her.

  “The girl I slept with is here in Manly and she came to see me at work,” I explain to the one woman I swore I would never hurt again, and from the look on her face, I’ve broken that promise already.

  “Why would she visit you at work? Bloody slut, does she know you have a girlfriend?” Roxy interrogates me as she starts to look angrier by the minute.

  “Yes, she knows. She has a boyfriend too, but she came to see me because she had to tell me something, Rox.” I can feel my palms sweat, and my nausea increases.

  “Cut to the chase Kade, what could she possibly have to tell you?” Roxy pleads with me looking confused, but then like a lightning strike she figures it out.

  “No, don’t tell me Kade. She can’t be, she’s not?” Her voice sounds shaky with disbelief.

  “I’m so sorry Roxy, she says she is pregnant,” I finally confess to her. I feel like I may cry, telling my one true love that someone else might be having my baby. I feel goddamn rotten.

  “She is adamant it’s mine as she wasn’t with her boyfriend at the time, but I don’t trust her Roxy,” I announce to her, she needs to know all of the details to wrap her head around it.

  “I told her I didn’t believe her though and she needs a paternity test, I need proof, she won’t be getting one single thing from me until I know for certain. Roxy you have no idea how unbelievably sorry I am. I don’t even remember the sex, just waking up in her bed, then I crept out,” I divulge more information to her.

  I gaze at Roxy’s face and find it’s extremely pale, her mouth is in a deep frown, and her eyes are glassy, she looks like she might cry or pass out. I really hope not either.

  “Kade, I really don’t know what to say. I mean I assumed you would have had sex, but this? This is insane! Haven’t you heard of ‘wrap it before you tap it’? Jesus, Kade, I’m more pissed than anything,” she proclaims her voice still shaky, the anger evident in her raised tone.

  “I’m so fucking pissed at myself you have no idea, Rox, but it’s not one hundred percent mine. I wish I could remember if I did use a condom or not.”

  “So what does she want from you then?” she questions me the million dollar question that I’m still not sure about myself.

  “I’m not entirely sure, she just let me know she’s ten weeks pregnant and said she would be in touch with more information,” I openly tell her all of the details.

  Roxy slowly takes a few deep breaths.

  “Talk to me Rox, scream at me, hit me, throw something at me baby; I deserve it.” I totally hate myself right now for hurting her again.

  She looks up and shakes her head, and then she throws a chip at me, that breaks the ice and makes me smile.

  “I am hurt Kade, the fact that this fucking woman might be the mother of your first born child hurts like a knife in my heart in all honesty,” she confesses to me and it cuts deep in my chest.

  “It’s going to take me time to wrap my head around it Kade. But it’s not like you cheated on me, or you have tried to hurt me on purpose. I love you Kade and unless you want me to go, I’m not going anywhere,” she remarks and I am in awe of her integrity and dedication to our relationship.

  “Far out. How did I get so lucky? Roxy, thank you for being so open-minded; this is tearing me up inside and I dreaded the thought of you walking away. If we have each other baby, we can tackle any obstacle together,” I point out to her as I pull her body flush to mine for a loving embrace that makes her smile. Even though a tear falls down her face, she is smiling.

  “Did you know that your smile adds to your beauty even more Roxy, its contagious and makes being with you feels so natural and comfortable,” I confess to her.

  “When I look into your eyes, I see the windows into your soul. I see and learn so much through your perfect, royal blue eyes. They are magnets that draw my own eyes to yours. When I look at you, it’s not just your looks that gage my attention; it’s what’s standing in front of me; the complete package of all I’ve ever wanted in the world,” I declare as I speak the honest truth.

  Roxy is my entire universe and all that could ever matter.

  Stacey, on the other hand, is exactly that type of woman I would avoid at all costs; she is a bimbo and couldn’t hold an intellectual conversation to save herself. She is childish and mean and I wish with every ounce of my body that I am not the father of her child.

  “I love you unconditionally Rox, as my lover, my friend and as my soul mate.”

  I kiss her deep and with all the love in my heart, soul and every ounce of my being.

  “Oh Kade. Being with you has made me stronger. You tore down my walls and woke me from the darkness of my life; you tore off a layer that had been glued on for so long. Thank you for stripping the darkness from around my heart and showering it with bright light. Being with you has made me feel worthy of receiving your love as well as giving my love to you wholeheartedly,” she adds to her confession and when I think back to the immature Roxy I first met to the one in front of me now, I’m gobsmacked at just how mature she has become.

  “I was destined to love you Kade Thomas, and no skanky pregnant hoe is going to take that away from me, baby,” she boasts to me and I just smile at the fucking incredible lady that I will one day call my wife.

  Chapter 7

  Engraved forever

  Roxy

  To say that these past two months have been an interesting turn of events is an understatement.

  This was definitely not part of the plan. My life with Kade has been nothing short of amazing; our connection, love, and planning our life together is picturesque.

  I am still in shock from the unexpected bombshell it isn’t even a little one, it is huge but I guess that’s what bombshells are, huge.

  I text my rock Jemma to organise a vital lunch date. I need to talk about this bullshit with someone other than Kade; I need a woman’s perspective.

  Even though I can imagine how Jemma will react to the news. “What the fuck? Is he stupid, why didn’t he wear a condom?”

  We meet at our favourite café. They always have great service and the food and coffee is to die for. Jemma is none the wiser to my drama, as I get the typical bear hug and kiss on the cheek before she starts talking rapidly about her up and coming wedding plans.

  “God Rox
y, I think I may be turning into a bridezilla. I mean everything I choose or that I want is all the expensive stuff. Why can’t I just be content with simple things?” she states to me and I can’t help but giggle.

  “Jem you wouldn’t be you if you were content with the simple things in life. You are spectacular and your wedding will be too,” I reply telling her how I see it. Jemma has never been simple or average and I wouldn’t expect her wedding to be that way either, even though it will bloody cost a fortune to pay for.

  Good luck to Dan and his family.

  “I love you hoe, you always know what to say to me and I appreciate it,” she tells me blowing me a kiss across the table.

  “Well Jem, my life just got a whole lot more complicated, so I love the distraction of talking about your wedding,” I confide to her, feeling gloomy and low.

  “What do you mean complicated? You and Kade are amazing together, what has surfer boy done now?” she asks me raising one eyebrow in typical Jemma fashion.

  “It’s a bit of a bombshell Jem, so don’t freak out okay” I warn my bestie. Her going psycho in a coffee shop is the last thing I need to deal with, right now.

  “You have my word I won’t freak out, well too much anyway. Now hurry the fuck up and tell me, bitch,” she demands and I can't help but shake my head and smirk at her brazen comment.

  “Well, you know how I was with Dylan? Well, Kade was with someone else too,” I reveal the minor details first. I’ve got to take this slow and steady.

  “Well, the guy’s not a camel Rox, it was probably just sex, right?”

  “Yes, that is exactly what it was Jem, just a one night stand and just sex, he even crept out of her place when she was still asleep,” I say edging closer to my big reveal.

  “So it meant nothing. Leave it in the past, Rox. God, if Dan knew ‘my number’ he would disown me for sure,” she giggles as she responds tongue in cheek.

  “I am fine with that, the past means nothing. But the slut is here in Sydney and she went to visit Kade at work,” I answer her once again feeling crummy. She frowns, looking very unimpressed.