Shocked and Shattered Page 6

  “How are you feeling?” Liam questions me as he puts my seatbelt on.

  “Oh, I’m on top of the world. Don’t I look like a million dollars right now?” I manage to joke, and he chuckles loudly. I could get used to his laugh.

  “You do look like a million dollars, actually. You are just as beautiful as the day we met in my office,” he confesses openly to me. Wait, what? He thinks I’m beautiful, even now?

  I blush slightly, and then smile at his comment. For the first time in a long time, I smile widely.

  “There’s that pretty smile,” he says as he smiles back at me. I lay my head against the headrest. I am so exhausted; I can’t even move. When we arrive at the apartment, I buzz us in, and Liam walks me over to the lounge.

  “Do you think I’m a little warm?” I ask, feeling more flushed and drained than usual.

  He places his masculine hand on my forehead to check my temperature. His palm feels soft.

  “Yeah, feels like you have a mild fever. Let’s get some Advil into you.” He digs through the medicine bag that I didn’t even realise he brought up. I guess it’s an occupational habit.

  “Arrgghhh! I feel sick,” I announce as I lift the spew bag just in time to catch more vomit. Oh man, can I get any more gross right now?

  Liam brings me a cold glass of water. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess,” I whine to him as tears well in my eyes.

  “What are you apologising for? Throwing up, or having cancer?” he asks, looking frustrated. “I am here to take care of you. I can stay as long as you need me.”

  Once my stomach settles, I swallow down the two Advil and lay back with my head on the lounge pillow. My black track pants, pink tee, and hoodie are so daggy right now, but comfort is all I care about.

  “Where do you keep your face washers? We should try and get your fever down.” Liam looks concerned with my tiredness.

  “In the linen cupboard, in the main bathroom. Down the hall on the right,” I manage to say. He quickly wanders down the hallway to find the bathroom.

  My phone beeps and vibrates, and I realise it is in my pocket. I dig it slowly out and check my messages, even though my sight is a little blurry.

  Hannah:Love you, chicky. Hope today went well, and you had better be resting. Talk tomorrow. I’m here if you need me. xx

  Her message warms my heart. Wait until she hears that Sterling deserted me. I notice there is another messaged unopened from thirty minutes ago.

  Sterling: I won’t be home until eight.

  It’s almost five now. He honestly just doesn’t give a shit about me. Tears start to well in my eyes.

  Hannah cares so much, and Sterling doesn’t care at all. For God’s sake, my oncologist is going above and beyond by being here, catching my vomit and giving me meds, when it should be my husband.

  I start to sob uncontrollably. I cry for the terrible pain I feel from being sick, for my loveless marriage, and for so many other reasons.

  “Crystal, are you okay? Why are you crying?” Liam asks as he walks back in, holding a damp washcloth. I can’t speak. I can’t tell him all my problems; he is my doctor. I look away, feeling ashamed. He places the washcloth on my forehead, and pushes stray hairs behind my ears, softly rubbing my hair.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he says quietly. As I turn my head, his green eyes find mine. They are so warm. I manage to smile at him.

  “God, I hope so,” I whisper.

  CHAPTER 11 - Shocked

  The chemo hits me hard, and the next week is back to being in hell. I’m vomiting five times a day, my hair is now falling out in clumps, and I cry every time I see how much I’m losing.

  On the Thursday after, it feels like I may be finally having a good day. I shower, wash my hair, that is now very thin, and manage a bit of housework. Then I manage to take a small trip to the grocery store with Hannah.

  “I want to grab Sterling his favourite sub from the deli. Do you think we could drop it off at his work?” I ask Hannah. I even surprise myself. Why do I still go out of my way for him?

  “Are you well enough for that? Does he even deserve that?” Hannah asks, looking concerned.

  “No, he doesn’t, but I’m not going to stoop to his level. It’s just a sub.”

  We ride the lift up to the twentieth floor where his office is. It is very quiet. His receptionist is not at her desk, so maybe they went to lunch.

  I head to his office door, give a slight knock, and then push it open.

  I swear I almost fucking collapse when I realise what the fuck I am looking at. Thank God Hannah is behind me to grab me as I lean backwards.

  There is Sterling’s secretary, bent over his desk, with him entering her from behind.

  “Yes, Sterling,” she moans, totally unaware that we are there.

  “What the fuck, Sterling?” I scream. I don’t recognise the voice I just used, but it’s the new, angry, ‘Don’t take shit from no one’ voice.

  He is startled as he pulls up his pants and swiftly turns around, and the look on his face is priceless. It’s one of shock, guilt, and confusion.

  “Crystal, what are you doing here?” he has the fucking nerve to ask me.

  “What the fuck am I doing here? Oh, that’s right, ‘Poor Crystal is at home, recovering from chemotherapy, waiting for her husband to come home to her, but he is too busy fucking his slutty secretary’!” I scream again, feeling utterly disgusted.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” he pleads. Is he fucking kidding me? Do I look stupid?

  The slut is pulling down her extremely tight dress and not looking slightly guilty or sorry for what I just saw.

  “You slut,” I shriek and take off running at her, tackling her to the ground. “How dare you!” I pull her hair, knee her in the stomach, and dig my nails into her arm.

  “Sterling, get her off me!” she shrieks. The audacity of this bitch.

  “Sterling Hunt, you stupid asshole. I have never liked you and knew you were no good, and you have proved me right,” Hannah hollers at him while he tries to pull me off his whore.

  “You are a weak man, Sterling, What kind of person fucks someone else when his wife is having treatments for cancer? What kind of person would rather be at work than at home with his beautiful, caring, and amazing wife? You married her! Do you remember the fucking wedding?” Hannah continues to shout at Sterling. God, I love my best friend.

  “You have no right to say that to me. You don’t know me,” he shouts back to her.

  “You are right, Sterling, she doesn’t know you. Hell, I don’t know you. Who the fuck are you? You are a stranger to me,” I yell at him. “Just tell me why you did this? Is it because I’m sick?” I question. I need the truth. “Do you hate me that much that you had to cheat on me? You had to disrespect me and treat me like fucking dirt?” I feel lost.

  “You really want to know?” he asks me, looking forlorn for once in his life. I nod. I need this, even if it will hurt like a knife in my heart, but I need closure so I can move on.

  “I married you because Mother and Father thought it was a good business decision. They advised me to marry my high school sweetheart so it reflected on them as the perfect parents,” he confesses, dropping the bombshell of my life on me.

  My mouth gapes open in shock. It was all a sham…the whole fucking thing.

  “We were together nine years, Sterling. Did none of it mean anything to you?” I ask. I’m still in shock, feeling gutted, hurt, and betrayed.

  “Of course I did…at first. You were my first love, Crystal. But then I started to resent you. You were like a jail. I never wanted to be tied down; I never wanted a serious relationship, or a fucking marriage. I hated you because you said yes to my proposal.” He spills all of these heavy details on my shoulders. “You agreed to marry me. Why couldn’t you have said no? They would have lost, but you didn’t. You said yes. Why would you want to marry me?” He’s trying to blame me for all of this. What an idiot.

  “So it’s my fucking
fault for loving you and wanting to marry you? You are unbelievable,” I scream. “But you are right. I wish I would have said no, because I haven’t loved you for a long time. I thought things would change, and I wanted it to work, but it was wishful thinking. I wish I would have said no! I wish I had never met you. I want a fucking divorce, and I want you to get out of my apartment and out of my life. If I never see you again, it will be too soon,” I add. I turn to leave, but then turn for one last comment.

  “Oh, and expect the New York Times to hear about this. You and your family are finished, Sterling Hunt. You messed with the wrong woman.” I turn and walk confidently out the door, Hannah following closely behind me.

  “Jesus Christ, Crystal. That was incredible. You gave it to that fucking asshole. I am so proud of you,” she squeals as we climb onto the lift.

  My head starts to throb, and the last thing I remember is falling into Hannah’s arms, and everything going black.

  I wake up with a severe headache and in the hospital with Hannah by my side.

  “Hey, you’re awake,” she says quietly.

  “Shit. Why am I in the hospital?” I question her, feeling confused.

  “You fainted. Your blood pressure is high, and blood sugar is low. All the screaming at Sterling and extra stress doesn’t agree with your poor body. You have to look after yourself, so no more outings.”

  “Hey, I thought I heard talking,” Liam’s deep voice says as he enters my hospital room. “You gave us all quite a scare, Crystal. Thank heavens it’s nothing too serious,” he says to me as he smiles, squeezing my hand.

  “Yeah, I was very stressed at the time,” I assure him.

  “I am truly sorry about your husband, but please think of it as his loss. Like I told you last week, he is a jerk.” I kind of wish Hannah didn’t tell him. It’s so embarrassing. “Well, actually, now he is a lowlife asshole. But, my point is that you deserve so much better, and your life will change for the better without him in it,” Liam declares. His words always make me smile. He always knows just what to say.

  “Thank you, Liam. I needed to hear that. Your wife is a very lucky lady,” I say, smiling.

  “Ha-ha! I’m not married, Crystal. I’m very much single,” he boasts, and it throws me for a six. How the hell does a hot looking doctor, who is sweet and smart, stay single? Why have I never asked that question before? I guess I just assumed.

  After a long night in the hospital, I’m released with strict instructions to rest and watch more movies.

  Hannah, who is my lifeline right now, drives me home. As she opens my door, and to my surprise, my stepmom is sitting on my lounge.

  “Crystal! Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” She rushes towards me and pulls me in for a hug. I have never been close with Audrey, but right here, right now, with all the dramas that have happened, I hug her back lovingly. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.

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  Catching Sterling with his secretary was one of the worst days of my life. It was totally unexpected. I mean, I thought he might have cheated on me in the past, but with his secretary? God! I wonder how long it had been going on. I must be more naïve than I realise.

  I spend the next few weeks packing up all his stuff; jewellery, perfume, clothes and furniture that he chose and bought for me. I am getting it out of my home. I want no reminders of him.

  I look back now, and there were a lot of late nights at the office, work functions, and private phone calls. I guess I should have seen it coming. We drifted apart years ago. We lost the intimacy. Sex was robotic, and practically non-existent. Shit. Why did I stay so long?

  I plan on giving Nancy and Sterling Hunt senior a huge piece of my mind when I am feeling better. How could they make him marry me to make themselves appear better?

  Secrets tear people apart eventually, not keep them together. Lies and deceit tear marriages and families apart. They kill your soul, and destroy your belief in what is good in the world.

  Sterling has no fucking respect. End it and move on. Don't cheat, lie, and destroy other people in search of your own happiness.

  Greedy motherfucker.

  I still hold a lot of anger, but most of all, I feel free. I feel weightless, and I feel like Crystal Edgeworth again. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a husband or partner bossing me around.

  Mom spends two nights with me, and I’m not sure if Hannah had a good talking to her or what, but she has been amazing. Dad comes to visit the next day, and I am so pleased to have them back in my life.

  Texts to Liam are still daily. I’m taking it slow, but I definitely have feelings for him.

  Lying in bed that night, there is an incredible thunderstorm. The whole bedroom lights up from the lightning. I welcome the roaring thunder, the sound is so deafening, I feel my bed and floor shake. Another bright flash and strike of the illuminating lightening brightens up the room. I giggle to myself when I think that it may strike Sterling wherever he may be.

  A text beeps on my phone.

  Liam: Are you awake?

  Me: Yes. This storm is awesome.

  The rain starts to pour heavily, and the wind howls. Each crack of thunder and flash of lightning invigorate me.

  Liam: It’s a cracker. I love lying here, listening to the rain.

  Me: Me too. The rain is soothing. Each flash of lighting invigorates me.

  Liam: Can I ask you something?

  Me: Of course. You can ask me anything.

  Liam: I know right now is probably too soon, but would you ever consider going on a date with me when your life settles down?

  Me: Wow, what a question.

  Liam: I know, and I’m sorry. It’s too soon.

  Me: No, it’s fine. Yes, I would love to go on a date with you when my life settles down.

  Liam: Really? You aren’t just saying that?

  Me: It’s the truth. You make me laugh. You’re so sweet and caring, and honestly, you are kinda hot.

  Liam: You have made my night. This storm and knowing eventually I can take you out for a nice meal and spoil you like you deserve, is the perfect way to go to sleep.

  Me: I have to agree. Thank you for giving me something to look forward too. Good night, Liam

  Liam: Good night, Crystal.

  I smile widely. My jaw hurts from the grin I can’t wipe from my face. I feel goosebumps travel up my arms. If a simple text can do that to me, imagine what can happen in real life.

  I can’t wait to beat this damn cancer and date this awesome man.

  CHAPTER 12 - New Beginnings

  Being extremely sick has changed my outlook on life. I am no longer concerned with materialistic things in the world; the trivial shit that really doesn’t matter.

  One thing I've learnt is that there are no guarantees in life. I could be dead tomorrow. I could have a heart attack, or be stabbed or shot.

  I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands while feeling sick and sorry for myself, and I won’t pity myself any longer. So I've made a bucket list. So far, there are seven things on my list, which I want to do sooner, rather than later.

  ~ Go on a date with Liam

  ~ Swim with dolphins

  ~ Learn to ride a motorbike

  ~ Go on a ghost hunt

  ~ Go in a hot air balloon

  ~ Ride on an elephant

  ~ Walk to the top of the Eiffel Tower

  ~ Go skydiving

  Going on a date with Liam is on the top of my list, and I can’t wait. Like, seriously, I think about it all the time. It has me extremely excited. It wasn’t until I was out of my relationship with Sterling that I realised it wasn’t really a relationship at all. It wasn’t even a partnership; just two people living their own lives, sleeping in the same apartment.

  I won’t ever make that mistake again. Next time, it will be the opposite. I won’t be taken for granted or overlooked. I won’t settle ju
st to make the other person happy. I deserve happiness and love, and I now know I am worthy of much more. Already, my daily chats with Liam are so special. They are nothing like my experiences with Sterling. I never knew what I was missing out on.

  My last chemo for this cycle finished on Wednesday, and thank God for that. The next stage is my surgery, which is a lumpectomy. The surgeon will remove the cancer and any abnormal tissue from my breast. Apparently, a few more sessions of chemo are advisable afterwards to prevent regrowth.

  I’ve felt pretty sick this whole week. Hannah has been amazing, and of course, now that my parents know, they have been helping out. They take turns keeping me busy. When I want time alone, they give me my space. I am grateful for the hundreds of board games, books, and movies in the world to give me some sanity when I feel like it.

  Liam: Are you up for visitors?